Petitions To Keep Bezos From Returning To Earth Next Month Signed By Over 56,000 People

Over 56,000 people have signed petitions calling to prevent Jeff Bezos from returning to earth next month, when the billionaire founder of Amazon.com is set to ride his phallic ‘New Shepard’ rocket into space along with his brother, Mark and an unidentified passenger who paid $28 million to join them.

One change.org petition with over 18,500 signatures reads: “Jeff Bezos is actually Lex Luthor, disguised as the supposed owner of a super successful online retail store. However, he’s actually an evil overlord hellbent on global domination.”

“Jeff has worked with the Epsteins and the Knights Templar, as well as the Free Masons to gain control over the whole world. He’s also in bed with the flat earth deniers; it’s the only way they’ll allow him to leave the atmosphere,” the petition continues.

Briefly:

“Stay in space or treat your workers with dignity.”